Dear woman at Target,
I'm not pregnant. I'll let you know when I'm pregnant, (if I feel like telling you) but really it's none of your business anyway. Since I don't know you.
I was having a bad day. My younger son is kind of sick and yesterday my laptop fell on his head. It left a big scrape between his eyebrows, which is why he looks like a hobo baby today. My older son HATES running errands, and what is today? Saturday......errand running day. It was already a bad day. Then you made it worse.
As I stood in line trying to return a shirt, that I bought for my brother, that is too small, and my baby was screaming while balanced on my hip, and my 5 year old was tugging at my shirt and saying he wanted to "go home", as I stood there, in the line, that was just, SO DANG LONG, carrying my HUGE purse ('cause it's my diaper bag too) and trying to hold 2 bags of stuff to buy,... As I stood there, with sweat beading up on my upper lip and my hair in my eyes, you said to me,.... "Oh, and you're expecting a third!"
I am NOT expecting a third. So, I said to you "ummm...No." and my heart sank, because I want to be expecting a third, and because I shouldn't have had that 2nd large slice of pizza last night, I should have stuck with the salad.
And you felt bad. I could tell you felt bad, by the look on your face. Which, in a way, made it worse, because you were not trying to be mean.....which means....I really look like I'm having a third. (But I'm not).
Then, as you fumbled over your words, feeling bad about what you said, and trying to say something to make it better (which trust me, I understand because I've been there...not with thinking somebody was pregnant, but other times).....well then you made it EVEN WORSE when you pointed at my stomach paunch and said, "Oh I guess, that's just left over from him." and then pointed at my 16 month old.
Yep! 16 months later and I still have "leftovers". My stomach sticks out. Yes, it does. I am aware of that fact, and sometimes I work at it, and sometimes I just eat cookies.
So please, do us both a favor, and next time. DON'T ASK!
25 comments:
No she didn't!!! You poor thing. I hope that lady learned her lesson!
Susan I love it! You are too funny and TRUST me, I'm still carrying leftovers. I find it helpful to wear very baggy clothing!!
I just don't understand what possesses a person to say something to other women when you don't know if they are pregnant.
My really good friend is about 17 weeks, and they didn't tell a soul until 14 weeks. I could tell she was gaining weight in her midsection, but they've only been married about a year, so I thought it was that typical married weight! Even I didn't say anything to her.
I have no idea what kind of person asks that. I would never assume anyone was pregnant by their appearance. Totally taboo!
I Know!! What kind of person?? I NEVER ask that, why don't people learn?? Leave my and my pudgy tummy alone and in peace...tonight Weston and I are making cookies and eating the dough...This was not the first time this has happened to me. It was a blow to the self esteem, but I just don't really care that much.
This is why I never ever ask anymore. I almost did this once at my first real job luckily I had asked someone first thank god! Now even if it is so obvious that someone is pregnant I won't even ask until they bring it up.
Been there! (the being asked part and no, I wasn't! But I never wore that outfit again!) Now after (almost) 5 pregnancies, I can only imagine I'll be looking like #6&7 are on their way after this baby comes! And when this baby arrives, I will have been pregnant 20 out of the past 24 months!
A friend gave me this advice...
"Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see the baby's head crowning..."
Someone needs to tell Taget woman that!
That is why I never say anything unless I know the person and I know for sure. That sucks, have a cookie!
Cookie dough...you've got cookie dough...that might even be better than.....warm chocolate milk for the ole self esteem! Wish I was there.
There's a rule I read once...unless you see that baby emerging at that moment, do NOT ask a woman if she's pregnant. Ever.
Good lord, you are tiny. What on earth???
*hugs* I'm sorry for that. I understand that comment too because when people say it to me, it kills me. Especially because we want a third too.
I used to get those comments before I even had kids. Ugh. And for me, there was something about having number two that just seemed to make the poodgy tummy a permanent fixture. I looked five months pregnant before the actual pregnancy came along and I finally had a good excuse. Oi. And it was so hard when people thought I was during the year we were trying but not succeeding. So sorry you had to have such and "Ouch" experience like that!
*???!!!*
This is me - speechless!
Oh, Susan, what a very bad sequence of events. Good for you for having the presence of mind to realize she was sorry, and not punching her in the nose!
(((BIG HUG)))
This was a great entry. You tell the story so well! I can't believe some people and what they say - holy cow?!?!? At least you have a baby to show for any "leftovers" - I had been mistaken a while back as being the mom to my niece because I was heavier than her actual mom - that sucked.
Um, let me lighten your guilt from carrying 16 month old "leftovers", my youngest turned 6 years old - 6 YEARS OLD!- and I was asked the other day if I was expecting. I too wish and so it broke my heart (aside from the fact that my mind said, "SEE, I TOLD you you were fat!")...
Oh Susan!! 1. she shouldn't have said that, 2. I'd hug you if I could, and 3. can't imagine how many people SHE told the story to and how bad she felt!! She really shold have stopped with her FIRST FOOT IN HER MOUTH!! But, no, go ahead and insert the other! Crazy lady!
I've been there before. Only my daugter is 16.
Wow....really? How can someone be that insensitive. And then insensitive AGAIN. UGH.
She really said the 'leftover' part???? NO way! Didn't she know she'd done enough damage already? GAH people are stupid.
I can only imagine how long it's going to take me to get rid of the baby weight this time... (not thinking about it, not thinking about it...)
Wow...some people...seriously. Think before you speak!
Any woman that has ever birthed a child knows that is not a question you ask. EV-ER. Heck, my HUSBAND knows not to do something like that.
why do people EVER assume someone i pregnant? I don't understand. let's just all not say anything about pregnancy until spoken to about pregnancy and the world will be better ;)
seriously though, this happens all the time!
strange.
This is exactly why I always keep my mouth shut! I'm so sorry this happened to you.. YOU LOOK GREAT!
I have a little (ok it's big) pouch leftover from my now one year old. I choose to eat cookies more often than not!
Oh, awkward strangers. Keep thy mouths shut.
I don't know why (since people say really dumb stuff all the time)but this really took me by surprise. That lady must have been really old or something. Still, I'm sorry she was so stupid and rude. I myself would have a hard time recovering from such a thoughtless rambling of words. I wonder if I would have said "ARE YOU KIDDING?"? Probably not but that is all I could think as I read this. I'm sure you were just a little stunned.
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