I used to carry Weston around on my hip, like I now carry Liam. He clung to me like an appendage. I never thought about the day, that would eventually come, when I wouldn't hold him in that way.
I don't pick Wes up much anymore. Partially because he's so heavy now (53 pounds), but mainly because he simply does not want me to. He's not a baby.
I've heard my mom say, "It's a good thing, as mothers, that we don't know when it's the last time...". The last time we breastfeed, the last time we tie their shoes, the last time we pick them up and hold them in our arms. I don't know when the last time I hold him will be, but I think it's coming soon. I know I'll always give him hugs, we'll always be close. But holding a child in your arms is really special. My brother Dan is 6'5" he definitely outweighs my mother by at least 75 pounds. She used to hold him. She used to lift him up and snuggle him close. She doesn't anymore. She can't.....and he's 36.
Yesterday, I picked Wes up when the gate pinched his elbow. I held him, as he cried, and I tried not to think....this could be the last time... It's an unbearable thought. But when you try not to think something....you think it. He's still my baby. Even though soon I won't be able to lift him and carry him in my arms. I will ALWAYS carry him in my heart.
22 comments:
This is so beautiful. I don't want to think about the last times either. I just want to love the now times and "carry them in my heart always."
Maybe this is why we want just one more baby. We want more last times.
sigh
How true. Then I look back and wonder when the last time was. When was the last time I rocked one of them to sleep? Kissed a boo-boo? And on and on.
Waiting for grandchildren...,
That is a beautiful way of looking at it.
Occasionally my 11 year old girl (who goes to High School in January) will still want a big hug. It usually takes me by surprise and I treasure it more that the frequent hugs I get from the smaller ones because it may be "The last"
I have never thought about that before and you are so right.
Let us appreciate all we have, while we have it. :)
so true. i'm so glad we don't know when the last time is... precious memories.
Every time my youngest wakes up in the night I have that feeling--it could be the last time--and I will really miss it.
"I will ALWAYS carry him in my heart."
Yes. Because he will NEVER be too big for that!
Susan, this is such a sweet post! I just love it! Some things are just meant to be carried in our hearts and memories forever. I hold on to them like a security blanket because I'm scared to let go.
I wish I had the courage to write more about myself, but you know what I mean!
Big Hugs!
I'm glad I still have time before I have to think like this. I'm trying to cherish the fact that my daughter will hug me and give me kisses now whenever I ask for them. I know it won't always be that way. Imagine how precious it will be when you get to hold his child someday and watch him hold his child in the same way that you held him. My parents tell me all the time how wonderful it is to be a grandparent so you can be somewhat of a parent again and watch your child go through that love that they experienced.
Have you ever heard the poem "Let me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kingsbury? It expresses these sentiments beautifully! Grab a box of Kleenex though because it will make you cry!!
This moved me beyond comprehension. I know too well that we do not know the last time and I find myself bawling on my couch. You expressed, for me, words my heart had not been able to process yet...thanks for giving me the voice...
Oh - I'm so glad my six-year-old weighs only 36 pounds. :-)
Very well put, Susan. Thanks.
That is very true and it is a good thing we don't know when the last time is or will be....we would all be blubbering idiots on our poor children and they wouldn't have a clue why we were crying.
Man I hope this is the last time I have to change your wet sheets. Man I hope this is the last time I have to clean up your chocolate milk off the couch. Man I hope it's the last time you scream and kick and tell me I'm a bad dad as I send you to your room. Scheeezz, there are some things I would like to forget. Color me blind right? What a mixed bag of delights.
Any year now Weston's going to want to pick YOU up and ask you how much you weigh and stuff like that. That should be exciting!
Good post Suze!
Well said. They grow so quickly, even as your straining to hang on. A difficult, touching post.
Now that post shouldn't make me cry but it does. My babies (all 6) are grown up and gone with babies of their own. And I didn't know how much I missed those special moments when they're little until I read this post. And you're right. We'll always hold them in our hearts and in our minds. We're always blessed by these, our babies.
That is a beautiful post. I can't pick up my daughter anymore. My son either for that matter, but he still climbs all over me. I don't think that ever ends!
You said this so well.
It is so true. I am like you, I thought about each of those moments with each of my kids.
Now my youngest is 9. He still likes to snuggle from time to time and I cherish those moments because I know they will end too soon. Every once in awhile I pick him up but he is 71 pounds and I can only hold him for a moment.
It is a good thing they still like hugs when they get older or I'd be a goner.
Enjoy your special moments!
It feels very uncomfortable to hug or kiss my mother, and has for years. My goal as a parent is to raise my child so that there is no last hug or last cuddle.
My oldest is only 8, but he still loves his snuggle time. I am hopeful that hugging me will always feel natural and comforting for both my kids.
Susan that makes so much sense and it makes me think about how I still need my parents for a hug and a comforting ear. The "holding" of your child just turns into different variables.
You are a great mom.
It's true, isn't it? Wonderfully put.
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