When did I become "ma'am"? I'm not quite sure when it happened, but the transformation is complete. I am officially, and totally, "ma'am" now, and I don't think I like it. What makes me a ma'am? Is it the wrinkles that are starting to form by my eyes and my mouth? Is it the not quite in-style clothing? Is it my hair?
I used to be called "miss" or "hey you" (even that is better). But now, every time I go to the grocery store or the coffee shop, or the convenience store on the corner, the young kid behind the counter refers to me as "ma'am". It's like he's calling me ugly and old. I don't hear "ma'am", I hear, "Hey dumpy old lady, with the belly paunch, do you want paper or plastic, for all that processed packaged food?" aghhh! "Paper." I reply, a little grumpier than is needed.
I thought (hoped is more like it) maybe it was just because I usually am toting small people (mom's are ma'ams, right?), so I tested the theory. Nope! Even when I'm alone, I'm still ma'am.
First I was a "princess", that went on until I was about 9 years old (although, in my mind it went on until 23). Then I became, "honey" or "sweetie" or "babe". Next, it was "miss" and now......
It's kind of depressing. I mean, what comes after "ma'am"? Death?
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
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42 comments:
Susan, I've heard people that called you worse. It must be a woman thing, because it seems to me like people say 'ma'am' out of respect. Of course, if you would like it, I can start calling you 'Miss'. Or how about 'Miss October'. Good luck on this, maybe by 50 you'll be over it.
Have a good day Schmoopsie-poo.
It's totally true about the progression....but babe definitely came before honey for us...:) Honey was 'the old married couple' endearment. My sister-in-law mocked me for a week when she heard me call her brother Honey.
Ugh! The dreaded "ma'am".
I try to compensate for my age by being incredibly immature, but sadly that doesn't seem to work at the grocery store.
I got called ma'am at age 18 once. It just about unhinged me!
I wouldn't take it personally. When I was a kid working at McDonald's I called EVERYONE who wasn't in high school, ma'am or sir. I felt it was respectful. I have never been called "miss". Sometimes "hey you".
I was just saying to a friend of mine. They gotta do better than "ma'am" and yes, death is exactly what follows
I prefer babe...always will! And I still consider myself a princess at the ripe "young/old" age of...
You're a very darling ma'am Sus!
I've been called Ma'am since I was about 21!
Oh no! Don't say that - because I'm a "ma'am" too. I chalk it up to Southern Hospitality spreading round the world - that IS the real reason, right?
I THINK hey you... or sweetheart from odd or drunk guys is worse than ma'am. NICE BLOG
clelia
I chalk it up to respect and just how most people are brought up...but that doesn't mean I like it! I get called "ma'am" all the time, too. I also hate it when my sitters call me "Mrs. M." I roll my eyes and plead for them to call me plain ole' Erin!
p.s. there's something waiting for you on my blog...
I felt this way when everyone suddenly started calling me 'signora' even though I so desperately wanted to be a 'bella signorina' again!
But just wait...when my mom came to visit everyone immediately started calling her 'grandma' as a sign of respect. Even the other Americans! So I guess there's that to look forward to, right?
As long as I get id'd when I try to act young and go to a fun bar, I don't mind a ma'm!
While I was at dinner celebrating my 28th birthday on Saturday the waiter called me ma'am. I nearly cried! Since when did turning 28 make me a ma'am??????
oh now i love this. so true... i am not too pleased with being a ma'am, either!
Coming from another ma'am...I think they are just letting younger kids work in those places....that must be it! There is no way that I am not the hot princess I think I am. Tee! Hee!
I was sir'd the other day, and I'm with you. It's not a pleasant experience. It's the height of irony that when we're kids all we want is to be adults, and once we're adults all we want is to be kids.
There's just no pleasing us.
Don't feel bad! I was first called ma'am when I was only 22! Granted, I was a teacher and that was what the students were used to saying, but it still FREAKED ME OUT.
I've been a ma'am for a while and I'm not even 30 yet. What's up with that?!
I hate to be called Ma'am too. It sucks. After that is smelly old lady. So, in that light, I guess Ma'am is better.
I'm from the South--have never lived anywhere else--and I might be from the last generation where we were programmed from birth to call almost every woman "ma'am." I say it without thinking, sometimes.
It's a showing of respect, for me, and isn't necessarily tied to age.
But, then again, I'm not yet 30, and have to pause to process when almost anyone calls me "sir," or "Mr. _________."
Oh don't get me started with the ma'am business! Once it started happening to me ALL THE TIME (I'm MUCH older than you, you cute thang!) I put an end to it. I will literally call those punk ass kids out! It should be banned from the English language all together because don't you think some foreign form of ma'am would be better? Everything sounds better in a foreign language!
Oh, I remember my first "Ma'am." I was totally humiliated. Very upsetting, but you do get over it eventually.
At 36 I still get called "Sweetheart" but only by the confused, denture wearing, half naked old men that chase me down the ward in work... sigh !
I think ma'am is pretty much it. But next comes, "Are you over 55? If so, you get the senior discount..."
Your post made me smile. Who in their right mind would like being called a madam. I have near hissy fits when government officials call me madam with their nasal whine down the telephone lines when I ring them up to defend a client. You know they are trying to provoke rather than show respect.
Maybe my near hissy fits does make me close to a madam.
But less face it, madam's can either make a lot of money in unconventional ways or are naughty little girls being reproached by an elder. Who wants to be that?
I hate being called ma'am. Hate it, hate it, hate. Know what else I hate? At 30, I would still get carded for alcohol, magically at 31, all of that stopped. I hate that even more I think. I made one dude card me. Shoved it in his face even. Okay, I feel better now. :o)
Nothing makes me feel old faster than being "ma'am-ed". When I get "miss-ed" I'm on cloud 9 for the rest of the day. (Doesn't happen very often, ahem.)
I am one of those who call people ma'am even when there is no way they can be a ma'am. I called a girl ma'am today and I am pretty sure she was 10 years younger than I am and there is no way I am old enough to be a ma'am.
Having said that, I would rather have people call me ma'am and being respectful than having them just grunt at me and treat me like they would rather I not be there...
I know, it totally ruins my day when someone calls me ma'am
I don't like that either! It's supposedly a sign of respect but it feels more like a put down!
I don't care for being called ma'am either.
I hate being called ma'am! For goodness sakes, I'm only 32, I'm not over the hill yet!
I knew I was going to relate to this post as soon as I saw the title in my blogroll.
I don't wanna be a ma'am either! But I a'am!
i remember the first time someone called me ma'am. i was at a chic fl le drive thru and my eyes went huge as saucers and i corrected this kid saying, "MA'AM??!! NO you can even call me DUDE, but not MA'AM."
now i even call people my age ma'am. sighs. sign of the times i guess.
Oh Susan, you crack me up!
I have never thought of being called ma'am as the phase right before death. Maybe that's because I have been so bent on having people believe I am older than they think I am.
I was the youngest in my class because of my fall birthday, and have always felt like I was the youngest person in the room. Most strangers guess me to be in my mid-twenties and act shocked when I tell them I'm 38. It's kind of a funny thing.
Anyway, as long as you're still able to chase down bald-headed men in a swimming race, I think it'll be OK for people to call you ma'am. *grin*
I would have to agree with Nate on this one, it is more out of respect than anything. But I have been called ma'am before and I am 19...and I don't look much older than I am, so don't feel bad. It's out of respect to the person. I am not sure what else someone would call someone to show respect.
Ha! I don't like the term Ma'am myself and hate when I get called. Especially when they call me that at the liquor store and don't card me - can it get any worse than that?!?!?!
Really. Maybe it is that manners are being taught somewhere again???
I was raised to call all adult women Ma’am or men Sir and that is how things were for our parents generation. It is NOT a criticism or reflection on you as much as on the person addressing you.
I'm so relieved to read all these posts - it gives me hope that ADULTS are being viewed not as peers but people to whom respect should be given.
What is worse for me is not getting carded anymore. You mean I really 'appear' over 30? boo
I wouldn't take it personally. My son calls his grandmother Ma'am instead of another name.
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