Seven year itch?

As we round the corner and head into the second half of our sixth year of marriage, I can see that dreaded number 7 glaring bright, like the stadium lights in the outfield. The mystical "seven year itch". Will it happen to us? Will we one day end up like the 50% of American marriages these days that don't make it to happily ever after? or, using the baseball metaphor, win the World Series?

Is it really so mystical? I've seen it happen. Friends of ours who seemed to be the perfect couple.....the impermeable couple, have fallen down this path, and struck out. Why year number 7?? What happens in year 7 that didn't happen in year 6? Or is it just a continuation of something that has been happening since the beginning?..... a deterioration, a corrosion, of the attraction, like rain on the rusty soil of a baseball field.

I'll admit the excitement has faded. My heart does not flutter each time Nate touches my shoulder, as it did in the early days of our relationship. I don't have that feeling of needing to profess my love on the jumbo-tron score board. We have gotten......comfortable. Nate and I have been together, almost 11 years now. We have had wins, and more than a few losses. We've had great times, wonderful times, and also some pretty horrible days and events too. We've had disagreements, we've hurt each others feelings, but we've always made up, come back together, gotten in a huddle, and shouted a few "go teams!" and continued on in the game. He is my forever. It scares me to think it's possible, that things could drift so far, go so wrong, that we'd end up apart, on different teams, or not even in the sport of baseball at all. What happens that brings things to that point? Did the other couples (ones that didn't work out) fear this too?

How can anyone say with certainty that their marriage will last?

I've changed a lot in that last 11 years. So has Nate. It seems everyone does over time. When you get married at 25...how can you be sure that at 85 you'll still be compatible? Luckily, (so far at least) Nate and I still hold many of the same common values, especially those related to family and loyalty. We still laugh at many of the same sorts of jokes. We still enjoy the great outdoors and also a good movie night at home (and baseball, of course).

The seven year itch implies infidelity. While it is the cause of many splits,...what's more important (to me) is how the offender came to this decision. Things had to be pretty bad at home to venture off in that way.

Nate and I have our issues, things we argue about over and over. Many of them (the issues) will probably never change. He's a neat freak, I'm kind of a slob. We argue about how to spend our money. We have stress and disagreements about jobs. We get caught up in the day to day dealings of living with two small boys. We say things we don't mean. So what is the count? How many outs have we had? Balls? Strikes? Hits? What's the score of this game, anyway? Is anybody keeping score?

Some days I get so lost in the clutter in my mind and in the house, I trip over things and I lose focus. I forget to cheer on my number one player. It's hard to make time for "date night" (although we do get out once in a while). I need to be better at showing him how much I appreciate him, and how much I'm really glad he's on my team. I need to chalk the lines, cut the grass, rake the infield......a little maintenance would be good here. (No, I'm not talking about shaving my legs... although that would be good too.)

We are both so preoccupied with our daily existence....Are we still able to envision the forest though the trees? The big picture ? The season record? We know our marriage is important. But are we actively nurturing it? Have we had enough practices to hit a grand slam in the big game? Sometimes I'm not sure.

So as year 7 approaches, I'm trying to keep my head in the game. I want to make our marriage a priority. I don't want to deal with the "7 year itch". I've decided it's not going to happen here. Like a foul ball, it's out of bounds. We are instead going to have a seventh inning stretch. A time for total relaxation to prepare ourselves for the rest of the game. I think it's time for another Caribbean Cruise (like our honeymoon). (Now, if only we could afford that......we'll see.)

Go Team!

I'll leave you with a few applicable quotes from baseball legend, Yogi Berra. I love these. At first glance they may seem absurd, but think about them a little while and you'll see how brilliant they really are. If you have time, google "Yogi Berra Quotes" today. He has a ton of thought provoking and humorous sayings. Fun!

As Yogi Berra said....

"It's 90% mental, and the other half is physical."

"We have deep depth."

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there."

"It ain't over, 'till it's over."