And when I slip you into that little black Adrianne Vitidini dress from Mahrya's wedding, you look pretty smokin'! You probably think we have a good relationship. You might be surprised to learn, I have a few complaints.....
Well, sometimes I hate you! My entire life I have battled to keep off about 15 pounds of chub (sometimes successfully, sometimes not, as shown above....in the "not"). Right now, I am getting really fed up with you.
Liam is almost 18 months old and seriously it's time to let go of the extra pounds. I know, I know....I could exercise more, I hear ya, but I'm just asking for a little slack. I'm doing my best to take care of these boys, to keep the house in some semblance of order, and to pay a little attention to Nate all while also trying to keep my foot in the door of my nursing career. I've been eating healthy (mostly), so would you please give me a little help here?? Weight Watcher's is making WAY too much money off of us.
The belly pudge is ridiculous and completely uncalled for! Seriously??! Why is this still necessary?....and the stretch marks? Brook Burke has four kids and she doesn't have stretch marks! And what happened to my boobs? When we made the agreement to breastfeed, I was doing you a favor.... reducing your risk of cancer, and all. This is the thanks I get??...having to roll up my boobs and stuff them into my bra each morning? I am NOT pleased.
I also take issue with your chin, or should I say chins, (There is NO reason for more than one.) your upper arms, and the acne. THE ACNE!!! We've been dealing with this issue for 20 years. 20 YEARS!!! Grey hairs, wrinkles AND Acne is not allowed!! I'm almost 32, it's time to be done with the acne..... GROW UP!!!
Lastly, I just want to discuss the jarring pain in my back that you throw at me every so often. You know the one that runs down my sciatic nerve in the middle of my butt cheek and into my thigh. I really don't appreciate it, it makes it hard to sleep sometimes too... and no, I am not going to stop picking up my 53 pound 5 year old. No.
I want to continue to have a long and healthy relationship with you. So would you please clear up the above mentioned items, so we can live happily ever after. Thank you, it would be greatly appreciated.
Love,
(Your occupant)
35 comments:
I would love to cc my body on this memo! LOL
Yeah, grey hairs and acne just shouldn't go together. My mom told me she stopped getting acne after she had her first baby. That set me up for quite the disappointment. *groan*
Thanks for this laugh today, Susan. I needed it!
Can I send this letter to my body also? My gut is killing me. And I know, I could exercise more and cut out the sweets, but then what kind of Mother would I be? Apparently not a very nice one (according to my 5 year old).
Love you!
First, I have to say, you look great in that picture. Second, I'm going to give you a HUGE shout out to the post nursing breasts and the frickin' acne.
I could have written this about my body as well!
Great post!! I CAN'T pick up my 53 pound kid...
Just the other day Miles was looking at me from the side and he said, "Oh, I thought it seemed like you had another baby in there."
Gee, thanks.
I'm SO with you!
Hahaha!! I love your candid talk with your body :) Now, I'm wondering what it'll say back...
That was hilarious!! I think you looked great in the picture and kuddos for giving your body the what for!!
Absolutely hilar. Great post. In another 6 months or so, my body will be without excuse and would like you to send this same letter to it. Thanks :)
Um, hello Susan. Did you take over my body?
Ha! I'm sick of my face breaking out too, and battling wrinkles at the SAME Time too! And sadly, I think I'm used to the pooch in my belly after two kids, I'm ten pounds more than I was before them. I feel like I don't remember what flat abs look like!
Cute Letter Susan....let me know if you get a reply =D
I wish I could send a letter like that and expect real results. My body seems to be deaf. Or really good at ignoring her mail.
Could you cc my body on this as well? It would save me a lot of time...and well basically...minus all of the athletic accomplishments we are on the same page. Holly LLL
Hey, we're almost the same age! And I get the acne thing. Isn't that supposed to be left behind in adolescence?! Very annoying.
After 4 babies, I'm certainly aware that the body changes, but honestly, that hasn't really bothered me for some reason. I guess I'm just used to it by now since I've been a mama for 12 1/2 years.
You are beautiful, so I think your body is treating you pretty good! :)
Susan you are too funny! I feel the same way some days :) YOU ARE NOT ALONE :)
Your best and funniest post so far! I really loved it - it "echos" all my feelings, except my body took me through one child.
Weight Watchers is making a boatload off of us too!
I guess if I exercised and cut the ice cream and cake out of my diet, i could drop that last 15 pounds.
Is anyone really happy with their body? I quit speaking to mine years ago. Ha!
Haha, this is great!
Amen! That is all I have to say. Amen.
Oh yeah, change the name to me, I'm with you!
I am laughing my butt off at this one. You look fabulous but it's refreshing to hear that you, too, have taken issue with your body as I have with mine. At 33, I feel your pain (literally!) - it's not MY fault my 3-year-old is 40 lbs! :) Thanks for providing me with a smile on this Hump Day!
Well Susan, since our "bodies" have always been budies...you know I am in the same boat as you. You also know that the really hard time of year is coming up too....all that yummy holiday food.
Just think...the wedding is coming up and I will be there for the whole weekend....2 parties....lots of eating....so no hope for me!
Good one! I have a few choice words I would like to share with my body as well actually. ;)
Love the humor and humility in this letter. Who doesn't want to write a letter to her body to tell it to shape up in some way (or many ways)?
Too cute! I have a few choice words for my body now that you mention it. I'd share them but I'm too busy obsessing about my gray roots and the giant zit on my cheek!
May I borrow this letter and send it to my body...just have to change a few numbers. Did you see my post (Getting Healthy) last week about the health group I am doing on Saturday. Anyway, my friend is awesome and taking questions from Blogland..she is working with me on "stuff." And you look great in all your photos!
Holly
Some women would kill for your body (even the one you find unflattering). But I understand.
Funny! I have a few things I'd like talk to my body about too. I mean, arthritis, are you serious? I know I'm a grandma and all, but I haven't even turned 40 yet.
Personally, I think you look pretty awesome in your 'not' photo.
If you can get your body to listen to you, please let us know the secret. :)
I'm only 35, but some days I really feel much older because my body just hurts. It scares me a bit because what will it be like in another 20 years!!!!?
I don't see the chub in your photo but I would like to write a letter as well. But, in my case, I need to write it to ME! It's not my body's fault!
LOL!!! i totally hear you on all of that!
I could go on and on about how much nicer your body is to you than mine is to me, but really, I kind of deserve mine. =P
Post a Comment