The whole make-believe thing is fun, and I get that. In my opinion the point, though, to make-believe and using imagination is that children understand the scenario is not real. Otherwise, it isn't make believe it's deception.
We like Santa here. I'm not anti-Santa. I tell my kids that Santa is a wonderfully fun character. Like Nemo or Curious George. The myth of Santa is a great story! It's really fun to ponder how he could get his reindeer to walk on the roof without slipping, or how he fits down a narrow chimney, or flies around the world so fast. It's fun to imagine him in his workshop surrounded by elves making the perfect gift for us.
It's fun and we do those things and play those games. We put Santa stickers in our coloring book, but I always keep them in check by adding "Santa's not a real person" or "this is such a fun story".
The funny thing is, Weston doesn't believe me. I tell him Santa is not real, and he laughs and says, "of course he is". There have been times when he's gotten quiet (with that inquisitive look in his eye)...... like he's thinking real hard. Weighing the evidence and all the information, but the fact remains that Wes thinks I'm just plain wrong (that I'm well meaning but ill informed). It's okay, one day he'll understand.
The rational behind my Santa truth vigil is strong (and I believe valid). I'm not one for lying to my kids. I value the truth and I hope they will too. How can you teach a child to tell you the truth? To value the truth? I think the only way is to be the example, yourself.
That's my goal. I want them to know they can come to me, with any question and I will always give them and honest answer. They can count on me for the truth. For this to work when they are teenagers, I believe it has to start now.
Also, I believe it's important for my kids to know the real reason we celebrate Christmas. So every year we have a birthday cake for Jesus..... we sing and we blow out candles...... then open presents. We read stories about the birth of Jesus and the first Christmas, and I am always sure to tell them. That Jesus is real, that he is not a character, it's not just a story. It actually happened! This makes the story of Mary and Joseph and Jesus in the manger so much more fascinating, because this story is special..... it's REAL.
22 comments:
I applaud you for telling them the truth...both truths! Santa isn't real and Jesus is.
I love this! I've struggled with how to play along with the Santa myth while not making it seem like *all* christmas stories -- THE Christmas Story -- are pretend.
I like that you still enjoy the fun of Santa, but reinforce that he's a Character, just like on cartoons. Well done.
This is very interesting. I can understand where you are coming from and I think it's great that you are thinking these things through and making a great decision.
However, I do tell my kids about Santa so that they believe that he's real. And I do not believe that is deception. I was told the same thing when I was a kid and certainly never, ever felt deceived from my parents when I found out the truth. I believe in Christ and never thought that was make believe. I knew the difference. Christmas was always so magical for me as a kid because of Santa. And I want the same for my kids. I also teach them about Christ's birth and I don't think Santa distracts from that.
My oldest is 12 and knows the truth now and she didn't feel hurt or deceived or that she couldn't come to me for truth on other things.
To each his own, though.
Do you tell them about Saint Nicholas? Charlie and Lorelai are just learning about him at St. Odilia's and we've been reading about how he interacted w/the children. Your kids may love that! Wendy
I've wondered myself about how to handle this when we have children. I love how you still have fun with the character, yet aren't playing make-believe for years!!
Good for you!
In our house Santa is peripheral. We don't talk about him much till Christmas Eve when we put out the milk and cookies. He's just not what this season is about.
As for whether or not it's deception to tell children he's real...well, there's the good and the bad of it. It's the magic of believing that good story vs. the risk of having your child distrust you. I think the risk is definitely there and I have known of children who took it poorly when the truth came out, but the bulk of families seem to have a positive experience with believing in the Santa myth for a time. I hugely applaud you for following your instincts and doing so in such a positive way. Your children get some of the magic without the risk, and that's a beautiful thing!
They are so cute
So true. So cute. ;)
I didn't beleive in Santa as a child myself, so I'm sure this colors my view of the whole thing. But I still remember having "magical" Christmases as a kid. There's a lot more to the magic than the Santa story... just sayin' :)
You have had "magical" Christmases as a kid????...and no Santa?....please do explain. What else is "magical" that is not Santa and where you won't "deceive" your kids.
You know I tend to disagree with you on this one and we always giggle about it every year about this time. I think maybe it's your way of taking the credit for all the wonderful gifts.?? I still don't think one has to go out of their way to tell a kid that Santa doesn't exist; why ruin the fun. Go along with the magic and let your son/daughter use a part of their mentality that a lot of parents now days are taking away...their imagination.
Just sayin';)
I've been thinking about blogging about this same subject. We don't do Santa here either. We say "Santa doesn't come to our house." and leave it at that right now but I'm sure more explanation will be needed later. I worry about my kids ruining it for other kids by saying too much right now. We do celebrate St. Nicholas Day at the beginning of December but we seperate this from Christmas and focus only on Jesus' bday for Christmas.
For me, Santa is real. Santa is more than a season or an excuse to give gifts. Santa is a principle of kindness and service. Santa is about warmth, thoughtfulness, and love without boundaries. Of course, I respect the rights of others to believe how and what they may.
God loves diversity--and so do I. Neither view is wrong. Simply different.
Oh Nathan! The spirit of Christmas itself and the birth of Christ is magical. Giving, being with family it's all magical to me. I don't beleive telling them that Santa does not exist is "ruining the fun" Elmo is fun.... Nemo is fun...they are not real. We still have fun as you know.
You are right, and out of respect for you I often don't say much. I let them imagine how Santa packs his sleigh.. they do get to pretend...
You and GirlyMama sound like you have the same philosophys. Good for you for sticking to your convictions. I'm sure it's tough with the big Santa sell.
Oh my - OK, I have to say I don't agree with you but everyone has their own views and I respect that too.
Hope we're still friends!!
Hope you are having a GREAT Christmas season! - I have not been blogging too much so I am doing a little catching up!
I love spending time here, Warm!
Aloha, Friend
Comfort Spiral
Well, my thoughts are divided here. The stories that we were told at Christmas concerned the Russian Babooskia Dolls. Now this old woman had been told of the Magi calling at her town, and she was so busy cleaning her house that she had forgotten when three Wise men called at her house because she was so busy cleaning. But she followed them all over the world, growing smaller and thinner all the time, but at the same time leaving small gifts for all the children that she came across during her travels. She never did catch up with the Magi, but still left gifts.
Saint Nicholas is the patron Saint of Russia, Children and Sailors.
So, there is two ways that you could tell this story, both involving the birth of the Baby Jesus.
I think its a great idea. Of course, I only have a dog, but she only believes in me!
I agree that everyone has their own views on this and that's okay. This is my blog and I was just stating my views. Sorry if I offended anyone.
Very well said! This have given me a good way to balance with my kids, because I so want them to focus on WHO Christmas is really about, but realize that they will be surrounded by Santa too. Thanks for sharing!
I think it's funny that Weston doesn't believe you. I've never believed in Santa, Easter Bunny... but I still enjoy Charlie Brown Christmas and Easter Baskets!
I like how you handled this! I remember as a kid being confused about Santa. If he could see everyone and knew if they were good or bad, was he like God? I asked my parents about that one time.
We did let our kids believe in Santa when they were little, but at an early age they became aware of the fantasy thing. In retrospect I think your approach is probably a better one.
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