It's taken me 31 years, and I still don't quite have it down. Accepting a compliment is not an easy thing to do. My natural instinct is to point out my other flaws or to diminish, default or defraud the compliment in some way, making it meaningless.
My mother always taught that the graceful thing to do is simply smile and say, "Thank you." Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?
How many of you actually do that?
How many of you who do secretly cringe and shrug it off when the person walks away, thinking there must be some ulterior motive for the kind comment? Why do women do this? Men certainly don't. Men relish in their glory, they do crazy football touchdown dances, they shout their praises from the rooftops.
I've been practicing (no, not my football dance). It seems easiest to start with the compliments that come for my boys (because I really do think they are fantastic). Yesterday, a woman commented on Liam's red hair (which people often do). "It's beautiful" she said. "Thank you." I responded, and then I stopped. I didn't go on to complain about how accident prone he is lately, or tell her that I'm sure his hair will turn brown when he gets older. I smiled.....and she smiled too.
So to those of you who complimented me after my last post on my makeup application skills, "Thank you." And to those of you who said I really do look a little like Julia Stiles (because I consider that a compliment too), "Thank you."
See, I'm becoming a pro. :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
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15 comments:
Yes, we need this lesson.
Aloha, Friend!
Comfort Spiral
How ironic that you posted this -- I was just last night talking with Dave about this very same thing. I'm also very bad at accepting compliments :)
I'm awful at accepting compliments! I take after my mother, who constantly deflects them....
I too can't take compliments. They make me feel as though something is not quite right about myself and they are just being nice!
It is a good thing to be able to say Thank You and stop. I have a hard time with this also. I tend to find compliments embarrasing which is kind of dumb.
I "forget" to thank people sometimes when they give me a compliment. Like if they say "Oh, I love your new jeans" I start going on about what a good deal I got on them instead of saying Thank You. I've been trying to get better about it!
Good for you for changing your ways and...
You're Welcome! :)
I'm the same way, but I'm much better than I was when I was younger.
I hear you. And you know what sucks? It's way easier for me to accept a compliment about my kids than it is about me. Of course, it could be the fact that they're so frickin' cute I couldn't ever disagree. I will say, they're WILD though!
all it takes is a little practice!
I struggle with taking compliments too. I think it is much easier said than done.
:)
I struggle with this -- I almost feel as though I have to find a way to brush off the compliment somehow. I need to learn how to just smile and say thank you.
I'll agree with a commenter above who said it's a lot easier to accept a compliment about my son than myself!
Me too.
I try to be conscious of simply saying thank you but my body language still always shouts "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU" (looking away, cheeks turning red, fidgeting...)
I need more practice too :)
I need to learn this one too - well said!
Oh you have it a sensitive spot for me.
I try soooo hard, I am no good at it. I usually say something like.. pshaw!
Its rude. I need to get better at being gracious!
I'm also very bad at accepting compliments
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