To cry it out, or not to??

I would write a post about sleep deprivation and how I really don't believe in the "cry it out" method and think it's probably best to comfort your baby and keep her close. I would also add though, that I hate it that people judge and that there is SO MUCH guilt involved in those times when you've done everything you can, when you've rocked and fed and changed and fed again and so, after 4 hours, you make the decision to put baby in her own room, in the crib, just so you can lay down and close your eyes for a few minutes .... but you lay there and all you think about is if you're psychologically damaging her as you lay there and listen to the faint screams from the other room. So you get her, and you sit in the chair with her, but then you wonder if you're psychologically damaging yourself...and your other kids, not to mention the hubby who you used to laugh with, you know, what's his name???So then you put her in the co-sleeper, but she cries some more, so you pull her over and feed her while you lie down and close your eyes just for a minute (but there's this voice in the back of your head, this LOUD voice, that yells, if you fall asleep and suffocate her it won't matter if she's psychologically intact or not. So you drag yourself up... Back in the chair..... And wipe your eyes with a cold wet baby wipe. Yea. I would write a post about that if I wasn't so damn tired!

And just so you don't worry, I took her to the doctor today, because I was just sort of hoping (well, not really hoping, but thinking) that maybe she had an ear infection, or something, and maybe it was the cause of the sleeplessness, and that they'd just hand me an antibiotic, or something, and we'd be all good! Well.... She's "all good" not sick even a little bit. :)